When Nothing is Working

(FYI: Before you read this I just wanna say this post is super random and I usually take days to write a post and I wrote this in an hour. Not sure who this is for or if it’s just for me, or if it even makes sense for that matter, but I felt I had to put it out there, so here goes…)

Hey guys! After a long hiatus, (which I absolutely promise will never happen, ever again) I am finally back. This summer has been a mix of emotions. On one hand, I had a great summer. I took a fabulous vacation and had the time of my life. When not on vacation, I spent my days babysitting and my evenings tutoring elementary-aged kids. This led to a very laid-back, over all amazing summer. However…

Things weren’t entirely perfect because always in the back of my mind was the burning question, “What’s going to happen this fall when summer’s said and done?”

The reason I was so concerned about this for the first time in my life was because I just graduated college last year and I thought the job-finding process would be much easier than it has been. Despite sending out tons of resumés, I still have absolutely no leads in the field I received my degree in. Thus, the anxiety and stress levels in me have been sky-high. I’ve contemplated everything over and over, used different approaches to solve my problem; try harder, give up, be patient and wait, etc…. none of it’s worked.

I feel I also must say I’ve spent all summer learning about the Law of Attraction. If you aren’t familiar with the concept, it’s basically the belief that we are all energetic beings constantly vibrating out a frequency with our thoughts and beliefs. What we think, aka the energy we put out there, is what we get back. Because I believe so strongly in this, I wanted to use the Law of Attraction to attract the right job and a larger income into my life. I listen to Abraham Hicks Law of Attraction videos all the time and I make sure to meditate at least once a day, among other various things, to stay aligned. I believe that over the past six or so months that I’ve been actively practicing the Law of Attraction, I’ve been putting a good-vibe frequency out into the universe, but despite all my efforts and high desires, there have been no results in the job area, which obviously has led to a great deal of frustration (and maybe some cursing and tears, too…).

The only reason I haven’t given up on the Law of Attraction is because I can clearly see how it has worked for me in the past, with lots of different aspects of my life. I know without a doubt I attracted certain things and I can clearly look back now and see how I did it. Therefore, since I know LOA works, I have finally come to the conclusion that just maybe a full-time lead teacher position isn’t for me, at least not yet. You see, I love teaching, but my love of teaching kids has always come second to my love for writing. My ultimate dream is to be a writer, through blogging, self-help writing, and writing novels.

My mindset during and right after college was, “I’ll teach for a few years and write on the side, until I know without a doubt this writing thing is gonna work out.” Sounds like a perfect plan, right?! I had this whole plan figured out – or so I thought. But now, I’m looking around and I have neither teaching job nor am I writing consistently. (Not surprisingly, my stress has left me lacking in the inspiration department.) I’ve always been able to manifest jobs effortlessly in the past, I always got the exact position I wanted, when I wanted it, which is why this has been such a defeating and frustrating struggle for me. Why can’t I just manifest the freaking thing?! Is it too much to ask, Universe?!

Buttttt….If there’s one thing I’ve learned from the Law of Attraction, it’s that if I’m not getting something I think I want, then the only conclusion is that I am not aligned with it, I’m not on the same vibrational frequency as it. I know that because I’m not getting any of these jobs that I’m not aligned with them, and maybe, just maybe…that’s a good thing? Dare I say that just maybe I’m not being given any of these jobs because there’s something bigger and better out there for me? Maybe taking a full-time teaching job would put my bigger dreams on the back burner because I’d get too busy being caught up in the duties that come along with teaching?

I know a lot of my resistance, and therefore feeling stuck where I am with no other choices, comes from pride. I felt I had to get a lead teaching job so as not to disappoint those closest to me, and not getting one made me feel like a failure. But now, I am choosing to not care what they think about my decisions anymore. I can’t. The pressure of pleasing others is taking up too much of my valuable energy. While it’s true I have to make an income, who’s to say I have to do it being a lead classroom teacher in a public school right now? Maybe another job would give me the freedom to write more, and help me prepare for the dreams I ultimately want, which is to move out of state and become a full-time writer.

I guess what I am trying to say is that you (I’m talking to myself too) don’t have to stay stuck. You don’t have to follow the opinions of what others think you should do. If you feel resistance about going forward with something, it’s for a reason. Only YOU know what is right for you. Nobody else, no matter how important or experienced they may be in what they do, could possibly know all of your desires or the best way for you to get to where you want to be, but your inner being does. Follow your inner being’s guidance!

The main thing my inner being keeps telling me is to continue to meditate daily (it’s now non-negotiable, I’ve finally realized I don’t have time to not meditate), and then and only then, to follow the next impulse that comes, no matter how random or illogical it may seem. I don’t have to see the whole picture to move forward, which was the detrimental belief that was paralyzing me from moving forward all summer. Eventually, enough next right steps taken one at a time will take me very far. I just have to keep moving. You have that same connection to your inner being too, that same inner guidance is always available to you. You just have to get quiet your mind enough to hear that guidance.

Trust me, I know it’s easier said than done. It’s much easier to just keep living life the way you have always done instead of doing the internal work that makes real, lasting change. It’s a never-ending effort that must happen daily. It’s not like you eventually earn you spiritual degree and then never have to work on yourself again. Like your physical body, you have to continually maintain upkeep of your mental and spiritual health as well. But trust me, the work is so worth it.

I know I’ve had a hard time lately but I’ve been through so much worse before. I overcame a freaking panic disorder! There used to be days where I’d beg for a struggle like the one I have now if it meant I could just feel normal in my body for once. I literally couldn’t go anywhere for roughly five years without feeling like I was dying. Since I overcame that, I know I got this too. And you can too. I know if you’re still reading this you’ve been through some shit that you came out of, and whatever you’re going through now, whether it be anxiety, depression, feeling lost/stuck/broken/unworthy/hopeless, whatever it is, you can and will get through, and you will be so much better having gone through it than you ever would’ve been without it. I can honestly say that even as shitty as it was, I would never in a million years take back my anxiety disorder because of what it taught me and where it led me, and I know I’ll feel the same way about this challenge someday too.

I’m going to keep writing everyday. I’m not giving up on this blog or the books I want to write just because something else in my life isn’t working. If anything, this gives me more inspiration and time to write. My dreams mean too much to me to let them die. Don’t let your dreams die, either. If you have something holding you back, let me know. I’ve overcome a five-year long panic disorder and would love to help, so don’t hesitate to reach out if you need some guidance.

This post was super random to me, but I felt compelled to write it. I don’t really know what else to say, so on another note, please keep checking back for new posts, as I will definitely be spending a lot more time on here! And as always, much love and light your way.

Kara ❤

 

Keeping Faith through Discomfort

Compared to who I was even just a year ago, I am totally changed. I no longer wake up in the morning fearing how bad my anxiety is going to be that day, or wondering in what physical way anxiety is going to manifest itself in my life. However, every now and then, anxiety tries to sneak its way in. Since I am easily able to spot anxiety for what it is now, it often uses various disguises in hopes that I won’t catch onto it until it’s too late. One of the most common disguises anxiety uses with me comes through the form of dread.

Dread has been a prevalent feeling throughout my life. Even as a young child I remember always dreading some future event. Only within the past year or so have I realized that dread is an extension of anxiety.

I often dread doing simple things, like going to the grocery store, going to the bank, or making a work related phone call. (Thankfully no longer because I’m worried about having a panic attack while I do them, which used to be a daily reality). I also dread bigger things like starting a new job, events where I’ll be doing some public speaking, or long-term planning for my future.

Whenever I start to feel dread within me, along tags its best friend avoidance. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve sabotaged my own mental health because I put off tasks until the last second possible because I felt a sense of dread toward doing them.

After a minor inner breakdown I experienced recently because of issues I caused myself through avoiding important tasks I needed to complete, I finally stopped and reflected.

I went back to the root of the problem and I asked myself, “Why am I avoiding these things? Where is this feeling coming from?”

I quickly saw that these seemingly simple tasks caused immense dread within me. I then asked myself why I was feeling so much dread. What is it about these tasks that makes me feel so anxious that I avoid doing them altogether?

I came to the conclusion that it’s not even that I am afraid of these tasks themselves.
Like I said, I’ve worked really hard toward my mental health and I no longer fear having a panic attack or getting sick all the time when out in public. It simply comes down to not feeling like putting in the work to do these things.

This isn’t the real me, though. The real me, my true inner self, wants the best for me and thus, wants me to get stuff done. Instead it is my ego (you might think of the ego as the devil) holding me back, keeping me lazy and complacent, because it doesn’t want me to move forward anytime soon in my life. And why? Because if I did, it knows that each time I faced a task that I ‘dread’ doing, I would get closer to completing God’s will for my life, and it obviously doesn’t want that to happen. So it sends dread to me, in hopes to prevent me from reaching out to fulfill my calling.

I understand this now, and it’s always nice to bring this truth back into my awareness. However, the discomfort and dread is still there. So I have created a list of four things to remember when I need to accept the discomfort and move through it, rather than around it. To be honest, there really is no way around discomfort if you ever want to get anywhere significant in life. Every time you try to go forward, it will keep popping back up through different people or situations. So, you might as well go through it now! Now is all we ever really have anyway.

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1. Stay connected. I cannot stress this enough. I know when we are being challenged the only thing we usually want to do is lay in bed, curl up into a ball and forget about the hard stuff coming our way. The last thing we feel like doing is taking time to pray or meditate. However, these are the very things we need and the only things that will get us us back on track.

On the other hand, I’ve noticed that many times I’ll be having a series of good days, where things are going really well for me, and I am all too often tempted to not workout or meditate because I don’t feel like I need it. I’m feeling good so obviously I can skip it just this once, right? Well, once usually turns into several days, and before I know it, I feel like crap again. Sound familiar?!

This is why we MUST stay connected. During the good and bad times. It is the only way to keep the peace even when our outside circumstances are anything but peaceful. For me I stay connected through prayer, meditation, yoga, working out, reading books about positivity and spirituality, listening to music, writing, or being out in nature. Whatever works for you is fine, the key is to just do something to stay connected to the source! Otherwise, you will quickly deplete your supply and thus, keep reinforcing the cycle of negativity in your life.

 
2. Know that challenges aren’t bad, they’re simply strength builders sent to help you grow. I have believed the lie for far too long that if I’m feeling some level of discomfort, that the situation causing the discomfort must not be right for me. I used to take it as a sign that I was on the wrong path and that I needed to run away– fast. However, I’ve come to find that discomfort is usually a good sign that I am exactly where I need to be. If you find yourself feeling this way it simply means that you are growing!

God often sends discomfort or disruption into our lives to keep us from staying stagnant. He loves us too much to keep us where we are. If we never had anything come into our lives and upset everything around us, what would be our incentive to change? More than likely, we would never change if we always stayed comfortable. Sometimes God sends discomfort because it is the only way to annihilate negativity or fear-based thoughts (lies) from our lives. It brings these lies out of dormancy and makes us aware of them, which is ultimately the only way we can get rid of it.

Growth is challenging at times, I’m not denying that. And just like with any physical workout, it stretches you and takes you beyond anywhere you’ve been before. If it’s easy, you aren’t doing it right! The process of growth is hard, but once you’ve completed the challenge you will be so glad you did it and you will never the same. So don’t run away from hard times. Don’t complain about how hard they are either. Instead, see them as opportunities sent from God for your personal growth. Every challenge has a miracle hidden beneath its surface!

 
3. Know that peace only comes after obedience. We often wait or at least want to wait until we feel peace about a decision before stepping out and doing it. We believe that if we don’t feel a sense of peace (comfort) about it, or that if it doesn’t make sense logically, then it must not be God’s will.

However, a motto I always strive to live by is that ‘it’s not faith if you use your eyes’. God wants us to live by faith, and he typically won’t send us peace before we do something, because that shows no faith. All that shows is a trust in comfort and complacency rather than a trust in God. But God is that still, small voice within us that often makes no logical sense whatsoever saying, “No, do it first, and then you will feel the peace you long for.”

Peace comes after obedience, not before. You will feel peace afterward knowing that you went by faith and not by sight and trusted in God instead of logic. You will feel peace when you believe the truth that he wants the best for you, and that ultimately his ways are higher and more knowledgeable than our ways. We must always remember that he see the entire picture of our lives from his vantage point; we don’t. We don’t have all the details yet. Knowing this, we can easily move forward in discomfort, trusting that he is bringing the highest good for all through it, and that he will make a way even when there seems to be none.

 

4. Know that resistance blocks the flow of God in our lives. When we resist what is now (our present circumstances/conditions), or when we resist what we need to do in the near future, we are only getting in the way of God’s plan. Our resisting thoughts literally block the easy flow of God’s energy through us. This doesn’t mean the situation itself is easy, but when we obey God through surrendering to what is, instead of resisting it or wanting what we don’t have, we begin to feel an ease and a peace inside, regardless of the degree of difficulty on the outside.

Somehow our spirit’s seem to ‘just know’ when we are in our flow. It cannot be explained or comprehended, only felt. When we feel dread, tension, anxiety, anger or stress within ourselves, these are all clear signs that the channel through which God’s life energy can flow through us is blocked. The good news is that we can easily return to the life source within us through a simple prayer such as, “I witness that I am being blocked by fear. I forgive myself, and I return to love right now. I choose to see this situation through love.” A quick prayer like this can easily change your whole mindset and put you back on the path of love, where life flows through you freely and you don’t have to dread anything because you know that God has your back.

“I witness that I am being blocked by fear. I forgive myself, and I return to love right now. I choose to see this situation through love.”

What allows ordinary people to accomplish things that seem extraordinary is that they do the things others are unwilling to do. They know that talent alone won’t save them. There are so many talented people who let their dreams die young because they don’t want to put in the effort. They don’t want to be noticed. They don’t want people to talk about them. They don’t want to be uncomfortable. They want an easy ride, and if it doesn’t come easy they don’t believe it’s meant to happen. While of course belief is key to accomplishing a goal, actions are absolutely necessary too.

I refuse to let my dreams die. I refuse to settle for a mediocre life. I refuse to live only for the weekends. I refuse to live paycheck to paycheck. Therefore, I must rid myself of complacency, procrastination, dread, and yes, even my comfort, so that I can live out my dreams and make room for God’s will. Remembering these four things I’ve listed above every day will help me do just that, and I hope they will help you too!

So what about you? What do you do when you feel anxiety, dread, or even just a lack of motivation begin to rise up within you? If you have any tips, please share! I look forward to hearing from you! As always, feel free to share this blog if you resonated with it in any way.

Sending love and light your way,

Kara ❤

Three Things to Remember When You’ve Lost Motivation

As someone who now takes my life journey and spiritual growth very seriously, there is nothing I hate more than feeling like I’ve backtracked because I’ve taken time off.

Two weeks ago I went to see Lana Del Rey in concert at Bridgestone Arena in Nashville. It was such an amazing night that I honestly still have not fully recovered from yet! However, being away from home for a few days definitely got me off-track in regards to working out, doing yoga and meditating, which was expected while out of town, but after I got home I had a bit of a hangover feeling from missing being on my trip. This equated to having no motivation whatsoever to get back into my normal routine, so for a few days after I got back home I was extremely lazy. Ever been there?!

Fortunately after a few days of being home I said ‘enough is enough’ and started doing my daily workouts, yoga practice and mediation again, and felt tremendously better. I even started a new job and this helped me too because I’ve been worried about money, so all seemed to be going extremely well! Until Friday afternoon, that is.

About halfway through my workday, I remember taking a sip of water and my throat hurt really bad. The pain came on out of nowhere. A few minutes later my head started hurting, my throat was getting worse, and I felt so fatigued. Not to mention, I had to teach a class of third graders for another three hours. I felt terrible. I called off work for my tutoring job that afternoon and went home and laid in bed all night. I knew I was sick and was going to be all weekend.

Thus, in rolled the negative thoughts and I started to feel sorry for myself. I thought, “Why does this have to happen to me now? Just as soon as I start getting in the swing of things, I have to get sick. Now I’m losing out on money from tutoring and I’m getting behind on my workouts again. I can never catch a break.” I was feeling frustrated and pitiful to say the least.

I’ll admit, I’m a little bit of a baby when I’m sick. I’m also an all-or-nothing person. These two ARE NOT a good combination for motivation! So my mentality when I’m sick is, “If I can’t workout or do yoga because I’m sick, I guess I can’t meditate either!” Makes total sense, right? So here I am, five days later, starting to feel better physically, but now I’ve got all this guilt I’m carrying around for getting behind. I want so badly to do better, to be better, and I hate when I feel like I’ve begun to slip backwards.

Fortunately, now I have the privilege of knowing that holding onto this guilt is not going to somehow atone me, or make up for the days I’ve lost. If anything, it only adds to the sickness I’ve experienced. Therefore, I am choosing to see this situation differently, and I am choosing to let the guilt go.

Maybe you are here today. For some reason you don’t feel like you’ve been giving your best effort lately and you feel like shit because of it. But the thought of starting again sounds so dreadful or overwhelming. Trust me I get it. I’ve stopped and started too many times to count now, and it’s hard! But I will tell you one thing- if you have that desire to do something, that desire alone is enough to keep you going.

So push through the excuses. This goes for any goal you have. It’s hard to get out of our comfort zones and begin again, whether it’s been a few days or a few years! But there is something I want to share with you if you find yourself in this place today, in hopes to bring a little extra motivation:

  1. Now is always better than later. If you start now, you’re one day closer than you would be otherwise. Think how grateful you’ll feel tomorrow. There is no better feeling than accomplishing something you needed to and didn’t think you had it in you to do. The first time gets that momentum you need going. Just begin! Each day is always easier than the one before.
  2.  Your goals and desires are worth the effort. It does take effort to accomplish something great, but it doesn‘t have to be difficult. The only thing that ever makes it difficult is our thoughts about it. So if you’ve already decided that you want ________, then trust that anything you have to do to get _________ is worth it. Meaning, you won’t resist the things that you normally would by complaining or dreading them. Ask for grace to do these things and I promise you will receive it!
  3. You deserve it. You deserve happiness. You deserve to be healthy. You deserve to live a life you enjoy. Don’t let your mind’s excuses hold you back any longer! Accept your desires and go after them with everything in you!

Below I have written a prayer for days where you might feel less than motivated and/or if your to-do list feels endless and overwhelming. You can say it out loud or in your head, whatever works best for you. I hope it helps!

And please let me know what you tell yourself when you need some motivation! I’m always looking for new mantras to add to my prayers and meditations 🙂

God/Universe/Higher Power,

Help me to only focus on this day and this day only.

Give me the strength to do what I need to do to get to where I want to be.

Show me how to not let tomorrow’s tasks overwhelm me today.

Lead me in the way you wish me to go, and help me do and say the things I need to.

Allow me to see the beauty in this day instead of just seeing it as a means to an end.

Show me how to access your grace and peace and let them guide me through every moment.

I trust that you have my back and are with me always.

Amen.

 

 

Self-Love, Healing, and Growth: Top 5 Books to Read

Over the past year, I’ve read so many wonderful books about self-transformation and the power of love and positivity. Each of these books have all in some way taught me how to rewire my thinking in order to create a life filled with joy, peace, and freedom. Because I have been so changed by these books, I thought I would share a few of my favorites in hopes that they will enlighten you too!

Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert

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Do you have the courage to bring forth this work? The treasures that are hidden inside you are hoping you will say yes.

-Elizabeth Gilbert, Big Magic

What it’s about: As the front cover suggests, Big Magic is about living a creative life. From this book, you’ll learn that living creatively doesn’t always have to mean painting, writing, or building something, unless that’s your thing. It just means doing what you love, as often as you can, and for no reason other than because you enjoy doing it. Gilbert discusses the idea that our creative ideas, desires, and inspirations are always out there, invisibly floating around, just waiting for someone to bring them to light, and that someone could definitely be you; you just have to believe and start! This book is filled with stories of how others used that magic to create their beloved work, as well as tips on how you can change your mindset and do the same for yourself.

Why I love it: This book motivated me to stop wasting time, and instead to just go ahead and get started doing what I love, now. It helped me realize that the things I’ve always dreamed about doing but never got around to aren’t just silly fantasies. I have those desires for a reason; they are just waiting for me to take action in order to make them a reality. This book was definitely a life-changer for me.

Simply Tuesday by Emily P. Freeman

“To be able to look ahead while also celebrating now is a delicate kind of art, to imagine what could be without discounting what is.”

-Emily P. Freeman, Simply Tuesday

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What it’s about: Simply Tuesday is a Christian-based book that teaches readers how to slow down while still managing to get things done in the fast-paced world we live in today. It teaches that more, bigger, or faster isn’t always better – especially if we aren’t leaving space in our lives for thing that really matter, like our family, creativity, and most importantly, Jesus. This book is filled with wonderful insights of grace and truth about life and God, and will leave you feeling light and refreshed after reading it.

Why I love it: I have always had the tendency to be a person who naturally rushes through life. I’m always thinking about what’s next, how much I have to do, and how fast I want to get things done. This book helped me realize it’s not only okay, but sometimes it’s absolutely necessary to slow down and take a breather. Simply Tuesday allowed me to see the tremendous beauty that can be found in the small, calm, and seemingly ordinary moments of life.

The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle

“If you get the inside right, the outside will fall into place. Primary reality is within; secondary reality without.”
-Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now

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What it’s about: The Power of Now is a book made to guide people through a total life transformation in order to reach their highest sense of self. If you aren’t absolutely serious about changing your life, or if you are not willing to expand your normal way of thinking and/or doing things, I do not recommend this book. The author is very straight-forward and brutally honest about what is so wrong with our minds. What he suggests doing to cure the diseases that ail our minds will be a bit of a stretch of the imagination for many, and is quite easy to blow off as nonsense if you aren’t serious. However, if you are open and willing to change, by reading this book you will discover that the key to the end of anxiety, pain, and suffering is to be found in being totally present every moment of your life. The only reason we ever experience any sort of suffering is because we are focusing too much on the past (depression), or too much on the future (anxiety), neither of which are controllable. Presence in the here and now is all we have, and it is all that matters.

Why I love it: My mind has been absolutely blown away by The Power of Now. I’m not even all the way finished with this book yet and have already felt a radical change within me. This book is not one to be read quickly. It contains many deep ideas that aren’t necessarily complex, they just require a great deal of focus in order to truly resonate. I will warn you, this book will more than likely bring up all kinds of strange feelings and emotions within you, because you are their home, you are what they feed off of, and thus, they are going to try to fight you in order to stay alive. But if you allow them to simply be, meaning just feel them and observe them, instead of fighting or judging them, then you will discover the power within you to defeat them. So, if you are ready to finally drop all of the unnecessary baggage you have been carrying around within you for probably far too long, if you are ready to be free of the mind and its mental traps of fear and depression, then this book is definitely for you!

You Are a Badass by Jen Sincero

“You are perfect. To think anything less is as pointless as a river thinking that it’s got too many curves or that it moves too slowly or that its rapids are too rapid. Says who? You’re on a journey with no defined beginning, middle or end. There are no wrong twists and turns. There is just being. And your job is to be as you as you can be. This is why you’re here. To shy away from who you truly are would leave the world you-less. You are the only you there is and ever will be. I repeat, you are the only you there is and ever will be. Do not deny the world its one and only chance to bask in your brilliance.”

-Jen Sincero, You Are a Badass

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What it’s about: You Are a Badass is about how to stop feeling sorry for yourself and being ashamed of what you want, and instead how to embrace who you truly are so that you can begin loving your life. Sincero explains that it is totally useless to continue hating ourselves or shying away from our uniqueness. In fact, your uniqueness is the gift you have to bring to the world. No one ever did anything great by being the same as everyone else, or by staying in their comfort zone. This book teaches you how to stop being afraid of the discomforting challenges life brings, and instead how to go after what you want, with no apologies or regrets.

Why I love it: This one was an easy, enjoyable read, and a huge confidence-booster. I often find myself randomly picking it up when I’m not feeling so great about myself, and after reading just a few pages it always helps get my mindset right again. It’s definitely one of my favorite books!

The Universe Has Your Back by Gabrielle Bernstein

“Separating from love means that you deny the presence of a higher power (the presence of the Universe) and learn to rely on your own power to feel safe. The moment you choose to disconnect from the loving presence of the Universe, you lose sight of the safety, security, and clear guidance that is otherwise available to you. The moment you realign with love and stop relying on your own strength, clear direction will be presented. The presence of love will always cast out fear.”

-Gabrielle Bernstein, The Universe Has Your Back

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What it’s about: The Universe Has Your Back is filled with inspiring examples of people who have radically changed their lives by changing their beliefs. This book contains several guided meditations that teach readers how to silence the chaos, doubts and fears that plague the mind. From reading this book, you will learn that the end of fear begins with love. Staying constantly connected with the universe (God), and choosing to see everything though love, will ultimately lead you to a life you love.

Why I love it: I discovered Gabrielle Bernstein by listening to some of the talks she’s given online and was extremely drawn to her teachings, so naturally I decided to start reading one of her books. Bernstein used to be an addict but is now over a decade sober, and is helping people all over the world transform their lives. She is a great example of how anyone, no matter where they came from or what they’ve done in the past, can rise above and create a brand new life, filled with light, love, and joy. I recommend any of her online teachings or books to those seeking peace, wisdom, and enlightenment.

 

So that’s my list! There are so many more I want to include, but for time’s sake I will wait for another post. However, I’m always looking for new books to read, so what are some of your favorites?! Let me know in the comment section! As always, keep checking back for more posts! ❤

The Benefits of Solitude

There is nothing I love more than sitting at home alone on a rainy day, coffee in hand, reading a book, listening to music, or writing. For a lot of people this kind of day would be considered dreary or boring, and I get why they would feel that way. But for me, the freedom I get from spending time alone is one of the best feelings in the world.

If you are an introvert, living in today’s fast-paced society can be mentally exhausting. You may frequently wonder what is wrong with you, asking yourself things like, “Why don’t I like doing what everyone else likes doing? Why don’t I want to go out and party every weekend?” It is easy to feel out of place in this world when you are an introvert because our society more often than not encourages extrovert behavior. If you are anything different than that, you’re often labeled weird, rude, or anti-social.

Fortunately you are not the only one who feels the way you do, and there is nothing wrong with you! Being introverted doesn’t make you weird, awkward or anti-social. You don’t have to have social anxiety or even be shy to be introverted. Being introverted simply means you need more time alone than others to recharge in order to function at your best.

Once I finally began embracing my introvertism, I discovered that there are actually tremendous benefits in making time to be alone, which is why I’ve created a list of three reasons why solitude is beneficial for introverts.

  1. Solitude is a great opportunity for improving your mental health and practicing self-care. Every time I use my alone time wisely (meaning I don’t spend hours on my phone aimlessly scrolling through Instagram!) I am able to do things that make me feel better, both mentally and physically. When I am alone I can freely exercise, meditate, listen to a podcast, take a bubble bath, practice yoga, read, write, or listen to music without any interruption. All of these activities help me clear my mind and relieve stress, and through taking the time to care for my well-being, I have learned how to analyze and reflect on any negative thoughts that enter my mind and then replace them with positive, uplifting truth. Since consistently taking the time for self-care in solitude, I have adopted a totally new and much healthier mindset that wouldn’t have been possible without my time spent alone learning during self-care.b48266a03ba269ac93545f4ae3a07165
  2. Solitude gives you the time and space to create your art and be creative in your work. Your work shouldn’t feel like work; your work should be your art, and I don’t necessarily mean art as in drawing or painting, unless that is your thing! I mean art as in whatever you love to do. For me, it’s writing. Whenever I am alone my mind tends to wander, and I often get my most creative ideas during this time. My daydreams become ideas that I use in the stories I write. When I am with other people it is very hard for me to be creative and focus on my work. The stimulation from people talking or the TV blaring in the background is not a conducive work environment for me. However when I am alone, I am able to take create a calm, quiet environment that allows me to concentrate and get more work done while still making the work enjoyable. Many times I don’t know how I truly feel about something or what to do about a situation until I start writing about it. Being able to put my thoughts in writing allows my mind to make sense of all the ideas bouncing around in my head.                         e30d6daa223a94f6bac2ea2a694d6491.jpg
  3. Solitude allows you to get to know yourself. When I finally grew too tired to fake being friends with the people in my life who I was just friends with for the sake of having friends, it left me with quite a bit of free time. In this time away from those people who had a large influence on what I did on a daily basis, I was able to start over. I got to know myself. I rediscovered who I was, what I liked to do, what I wanted out of life and who I wanted to be. The new things I found myself doing I never would have done before because it wasn’t considered ‘fun’ or ‘normal’ to my so-called friends. However, I’d decided that I’d much rather be alone than settle for a ‘normal’ life. In this process I learned to love myself, which unexpectedly was also the cure for my anxiety disorder. Yes I was lonely at times, and I sometimes doubted my decision to end these friendships, but it ended up being one of the best choices I’ve ever made. I discovered that I am my own home and I already have everything within me that I’ll ever need. I no longer need outside validation from anyone or anything, and that has been the most freeing experience I’ve ever had.

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Contrary to the belief of many in today’s society, there are extremely positive advantages that can be gained through spending time alone. Although sometimes working and/or being in a loud, largely populated area is unavoidable, and it definitely isn’t healthy for us introverts to completely isolate ourselves from others, we don’t need to feel guilty for taking some time to be alone every so often. So please don’t be ashamed of your introverted ways! They make you, you. 🙂

What are some benefits you have seen in your own life from spending time alone or being an introvert? I’d love to hear from you! As always, keep checking the blog for new posts.<3

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New Beginnings

To be honest, whenever I look in the mirror as of lately, I don’t particularly like what I see staring back at me. It’s not that I think I’m fat, but my body definitely isn’t the one I want. 

The body I want is one that is toned, strong, healthy and has a high endurance. The body I want is one I believe I’m more than capable of obtaining if only I cultivate traits like hard work, persistence, and most importantly, belief in myself. 

I don’t have that body right now. But instead of berating my body, crying in a bout of self-pity, or blaming bad genes, a lack of time, and just the sheer difficulty of exercise and healthy eating in general like I always used to do, I decided to look at the situation logically. What I realized was this: 

The only one to blame for my disappointment is me

I could have the body I want. I could get toned. I could feel stronger and healthier. The fact that I don’t have the body I want is not due to a lack of time, money or experience. I can no longer blame my parents for not pushing me harder to be more fit during my childhood. I can’t do these things anymore, because it’s always been my choice to not lead a healthy life, even if the choice was made subconsciously most of the time. If I never obtain the body I want, I’m the only one there is to blame. 

If the old me was reading this, being told that getting fit was all up to me would’ve made me want to give in before I even got started. This is because ‘I can’t do it by myself!’ was always my go-to mindset. But now that I know the power of the mind, and that I can literally do anything as long as I believe I can, knowing that it’s all up to me takes the stressful feeling away! 

While it’s true that nothing else in this world can make me get into shape, it’s also true that nothing else in this world can stop it from happening either! It’s totally, 100% up to me. So with this new awareness, I am choosing to get fit and I am choosing to stay committed to my goals, no matter what challenges present themselves throughout the process.

I have tried to get in shape countless times before, but I could never make it past a month or two. This is because thoughts like, “I’m not good enough, strong enough, athletic enough… It’s too hard…I don’t have time… I can’t afford the gym…I can’t do that because of my anxiety… I’m so weak… I’ve been working out for a week and I don’t see any results…It’ll take years to get to the place I want to be, so why bother?” consumed my mind and kept me from staying committed to living a healthy lifestyle.

The list of negative thoughts I’ve had when trying to get in shape in the past could go on for hours. Thankfully, now I am not only aware of how bad negativity is for me, but I’ve finally internalized the belief that negative thinking does nothing but hold me back. 

I must mention, this new way of thinking certainly wasn’t an overnight transformation. Because negative thinking was engrained so deeply in my subconscious for years, it was definitely a challenge learning how to rewire the strong patterns that had been created within my mind. But I finally decided enough was enough. All my life I listened to and believed the negative thoughts that entered my mind. I always gave into the negative thinking, which is also why I would always quickly give up on trying to become fit. In my mind, I truly believed that fitness just wasn’t in the cards for me. This one negative thought led to negative words about myself, which led to negative actions, or I guess I should say in this case, a lack of positive actions in my life. 

You see, thoughts, words and actions, are directly linked and greatly affect one another. Since I’ve learned this, I’ve been on a journey of renewing my mind and changing my life to make it one filled with purpose and fulfillment. And once I changed my thoughts, things became increasingly better for me in this area of life. So when I looked in the mirror and didn’t like what I saw, I thought, “If this mentality works for my career goals, why can’t I apply it to fitness as well? Why can’t I get the body I want? Be as fit as I want? Be as strong as I want?” And then it hit me; I most definitely can! 

So I’ve decided I will. It’s going to be hard, and no doubt there will be many times I’ll want to give up, but I’m so sick and tired of not being who I want to be. Fortunately, getting to this place is actually a blessing in disguise, because it’s exactly where true change and transformation begin. As the lovely Elizabeth Gilbert said in her book, Big Magic

 

I’m tired of my excuses. I selfishly want this, which is good, because this is what it’s going to take to make this goal become a reality in my life. It must come first. I have to want it more than anything else. Besides, if I don’t start now, then when? I’m certainly not getting any younger, and I’m as ready as I’ll ever be. 

It’s a terrible thing, I think, in life to wait until you’re ready. I have this feeling now that actually no one is ever ready to do anything. There is almost no such thing as ready. There is only now. And you may as well do it now. Generally speaking, now is as good a time as any.

-Hugh Laurie

It’s not about being ready, it simply comes down to how badly I want it. I’ve come to terms with the fact that it is going to suck in the beginning; there’s just no getting around it. But I’d rather live through the pain of hard work and soreness, than the pain of regret, or the pain of feeling sick, tired, and insecure for the rest of my life. 

My body, and yours, love us so much. They work so hard to heal and protect us. I’ve decided that it’s about time I return the favor and show my body just how much I love it back. After all it’s done for me, I simply refuse to take it for granted and mistreat it anymore. My body deserves good health. It deserves love. It was made to be pushed. It was made for hard work and movement. I’m ready to give it all I’ve got. 

I am certainly no fitness or health expert. I’m just beginning this journey. So if you have any fitness tips or advice on how you got fit, or how to stay committed to a healthier lifestyle, please let me know! I will keep you all updated on my new journey, in hopes that you all will hold me accountable! If anyone else is going through the same thing and needs some encouragement, just let me know, I’d be more than happy to help! If I can do this, then you most certainly can too! We are in this together! Stay strong. 🖤

What’s Stopping You?

Do you have the courage? Do you have the courage to bring forth this work? The treasures that are hidden inside you are hoping you will say yes.”

-Elizabeth Gilbert, Big Magic

Lately I’ve been on a journey of sorts. After years of being anxiety-ridden, sad and bored with life, not to mention feeling lost, insecure and like I had accomplished very few things of importance or signifigance, I decided enough was enough. I was ready for a change, and I was ready to live a happy life, no matter what it took. Although I am still on this journey and have plenty of room for further improvement, I am now happier and more at peace than I have ever been. On top of that, I finally feel capable of defeating all of my inner demons and going after my dreams. 

Since I’ve been on this journey, I have come to learn that this isn’t working for me because I’m lucky or special, but everyone (including you!) is capable of doing incredible things, and leading exciting, passion-fueled, fulfilling lives. So, if this kind of life is possible for everyone, then why do so few people actually end up living this way?

When it comes down to it, the answer is really quite simple. If you aren’t living the kind of life that makes you excited to get out of bed in the morning, it’s all because of you! You are the only thing stopping yourself from living the life you love. 

While that may sound depressing, don’t fear, because once you begin to fully comprehend what this means for your life, it’s really quite liberating. We each have unique dreams deep inside of us that so badly want to be brought to life. These desires aren’t arbitrary; they’re within us for a reason! The only thing that prevents your dreams from actually being brought to life is your lack of belief. Not other people, not your past, not your luck, not your current situation. YOU. You and you alone hold the key to your happiness, your future and the manifestion of your dreams. 

If you tell yourself you can’t do something, or that your dream could never happen for someone like you, then guess what? It won’t! 

The mind is a funny thing. You see, it doesn’t care what you tell it. It’s job is to simply do what you tell it. It just wants to make you happy. So when contradict your dreams by telling yourself that what you want is is too hard or too scary to be done, or you aren’t ready or you aren’t “_________” enough, your mind prevents it from happening. This is because even though you would really like if (insert your dream here) happened, your brain hears your negative talk about yourself, or the process it will take to get you there and thinks things like, 

“Hard and scary?!” Or, “I’m probably not talented enough or smart enough for (insert your dream)?! Yeah, that sounds unpredictable. And unpredictable equals dangerous. It’s my job to keep her away from things that are dangerous. So, let’s make her feel anxious when she thinks about it, and give her a panic attrack every time she tries it, that way she knows how dangerous it is and won’t try again.”

So often, we don’t align our thinking and the words we speak with our greatest desires, which is why our minds never let them manifest. 

It doesn’t matter how much you wish something would happen. If your brain thinks your wishes are scary because you tell it they are, it will always fight against them because it thinks it’s protecting you. Which is awfully sweet, but highly unhelpful.

Fortunately, all hope is not lost for you! The good news is, you can literally rewire your entire brain. All you have to do is change your thoughts and words. You can make your dreams happen, but you must repeatedly tell yourself that you like doing and are happily choosing whatever it takes to get you there. 

Want to get in shape? Instead of saying things like, “Oh I really want to get that beach body, but I just dread going to the gym. I hate exercising. I don’t have time! I’m so out of shape, it will take forever.”

Say, “I love working out. It makes me feel so good. I love being sore because it’s progress I can feel. I have plenty of time to exercise and still get everything else on my list done.” 

Want to start a new career? Instead of saying things like, “I’m too old. What if it doesn’t work out? I’m not skilled enough. It’s too much work to begin now.” 

Say, “I can’t wait to start this new journey. I’m so glad I have a goal. I am capable. I am likeable. God’s favor is upon me. I will make this happen!”

This can be done for any dream you have, regardless of your age. You just have to trick your mind into doing what you want it to. As I said before, your mind doesn’t care what you tell it, it just wants you to be happy. So, if you repeatedly tell yourself you love doing something and want to do it, your brain goes, “Oh, wait, I like this? This brings me joy? I want to do this? Okay, I’ll keep on doing it then!” Because you brain is automatically wired toward pleasure, when you tell yourself you love something and you’re choosing that something, your brain will work with you, rather than against you, to get it done.  

People cannot make their dreams come true from talent alone. There are plenty of people in this world with an enormous amount of underlying talent that never see anything come of it. Talent is good, but it is not enough. No, people make their dreams come true simply through the relentless belief that they are going to. And because they truly, wholeheartedly believe in themselves, they don’t give up. They know success will come in due time.

If you are anything like the person I once was, where high anxiety consumes the majority of your life, you may be thinking, “Changing my thoughts sounds good and all, but how can I when the fear I feel is so great? I’ll have to wait until the fear stops. Then I’ll be ready to change and start going after my dreams.” 

As much as I wish I could tell you  differently, fear is never going to magically go away if you are trying something new and unfamiliar. Trust me, I searched for years. I wanted a new, exciting and fulfilling life, but I didn’t want to do it afraid. I hoped that if waited long enough, it would go away on its own. I wanted an instant fix to end the fear, but much to my dismay, there was none to be found.

So if this is currently you, you have two choices. The first choice is to keep giving in to fear by sticking with what feels safe and familiar. Although this path provides the comfort of safety, the consequence of choosing this path is that you will never see your dreams become a reality. 

Your other option is to bring fear along for the ride with you. Let it talk, let it bring its’ uncomfortable feelings, but keep going anyway. It’ll fight you kicking and screaming, and will list reason after reason why you shouldn’t try. It’ll beg and plead for you to quit, but I promise you, the longer you keep going, the weaker the fear will get. When it sees its’ efforts aren’t working, it’ll become smaller and smaller until one day you’ll look around and realize that the thing you feared so much isn’t really all that scary anymore. And the more you keep doing things afraid, the more you will begin to see fear for what it really is, simply a fleeting feeling. Fear cannot hurt you. Fear is only temporary. And it can only hold you back if you choose to let it. 

With that being said, I know it’s incredibly hard, and it isn’t something that happens overnight. But my biggest hope is that you will stop letting fear run your life. Stop letting fear win. Have the courage to believe in yourself and go after your dreams. You are so worthy of them. Be the person who decides to go for it. The only difference between those that lead successful lives, and those that don’t is people who choose to go after what they want day after day, even when the results aren’t immediate, because they believe with everything in them that they will manifest. If it worked for me, I know it will work for you!

As always, please leave a comment below or share my blog with others if this post resonated with you! Stay strong 🖤

Kara🌸✨🖤

What Will You Choose?

In my last blog post, I talked about decisions. More specifically, I talked about the importance of letting go of the fear of making wrong decisions, and instead, releasing the outcome to the one who is in control.

However, I must note that while yes, I do need to release my need to try and control both anxious feelings and situational outcomes, this DOES NOT give me an excuse to sit back and do nothing while waiting for a miracle to occur in my life.

Following the no-more-worrying attitude, it is easy to fall into the trap of thinking, “Well God says don’t worry. He’s got a future for me! So I’m just going to sit back and wait on Him, and not have a care in the world. If it’s meant to be, it will happen anyway.” This thought process is very dangerous to have because doing “nothing” will get you just that, nothing! You can’t sit back and wish for things to happen to you, you must go after them. Otherwise, nothing in your life will change, and you will not experience any substantial growth.

I’ve learned that while I don’t by any means need to worry, I do need to work.

If you are anything like me, hearing the word “work” doesn’t usually produce a happy feeling within you. When I think of work, a few words come to mind: hard, stressful, boring, dreadful, time-consuming…you get the point. Work is not fun!

However, I’ve come to realize that what I do for “work” doesn’t have to follow these terms anymore because now I am only working toward things I love. If I don’t love it, it’s gotta go. I no longer have the time or mental energy to give to things that don’t excite my soul and propel me forward.

Working hard for something we don’t care about is called stress, but working hard for something we love is called passion.

I want to be passionate about everything I invest my time in. Why live any other way? Life is too short. I used to think this was a selfish mindset. I used to think it was wrong to love yourself, to put yourself first sometimes. Now I realize why I was never happy and was always feeling mentally and physically drained! It’s because I wasn’t doing what I was meant to, and I was allowing people to suck the life out of me. I had given away everything I had left in me to things I wasn’t passionate about, and I was depleted. This led to a huge amount of anxiety, depression and isolation in my life. It’s not wrong to give to people, in fact I strongly encourage it. But to give, you have to be full yourself first. If you keep on giving without ever filling yourself up, your going to eventually run out of things to give and will wear yourself down in the process.

I have lost a lot of people in my life from allowing myself to finally be who I really am, but it doesn’t bother me anymore. I thought losing them would make me feel lonely and sad, and that’s why I held on for so long. Now that I’ve finally faced my fears and let these people go, I feel happier, my soul feels lighter, and I finally feel free. I’m no longer wasting time giving my energy to people or things that don’t help me grow or to those who bring negativity to my life.

As I said, if we ever want to make our dreams a reality, we have to get to work. And while it doesn’t have to be hard, it can be time-consuming, and may take longer than we would like to manifest. Therefore, something I have to continually ask myself in regards to each of my dreams is: How bad do I want this in my life? Because if I kinda want it to happen, I’m kinda going to put forth the effort to achieve it, and then I’m going to only kinda get some results. I’ve come to find that if I don’t feel like making enough time each day to do something to get me closer to a particular goal, then it probably isn’t really that important to me, and thus, is not worth my time or energy.

A “kinda”  attitude will kill your dreams just as much as doubt will.

How do I know? Because it’s the way I’ve always lived. I’ve always kinda wanted to get in shape. I kinda want to move away. I kinda want to write and start a blog, and the list goes on…

Until I decided I really, truly, wanted these things to happen, they never did. All because I didn’t put forth any long-lasting effort toward accomplishing them. However, once I changed my attitude, and started seeing work as something positive and fun instead of negative and miserable, changing my actions became much easier. The more I changed my actions, the more everything else started to fall into place, and now, I am beginning to finally see my goals manifest in real-life.

When I graduated high school in 2010, I had absolutely no goals, and no idea what I wanted to do. A lot of it was fear-related, but a lot of it was also that I didn’t know myself enough to know what I wanted to do. So I went to school as an undecided major, (which I must add, there is nothing wrong with. I’m glad I started when I did because I was able to complete all the pre-requisite classes I needed to have anyway. Don’t feel ashamed for being unsure!). My thoughts were, “I kinda want to major in _____ but I don’t know,  could I really do that? Me? I’m not good enough, smart enough, talented enough. I kinda see myself graduating, I kinda want a degree…” You can probably see where this was headed. My grades were just average, even though I was capable of making A’s, but I didn’t care. And why? Because I only kinda had a goal. So guess what happened? I dropped out, because I was burned out. It felt pointless, like I was driving on a road going nowhere, so I thought, why bother trying anymore? I just gave up.

However, I eventually decided that enough was enough. I was miserable with my life, and it was headed nowhere I wanted to be. So, despite being terrified, totally unsure, and not at all confident in my abilities whatsoever, I decided to take the jump, and I got back into school. Each day was hard in the beginning. Everything felt overwhelming and my anxiety was sky-high. The only difference was that this time, I really, truly wanted it, and I wasn’t going to let the fear hold me back.

So I let go of control. Control of my anxiety, control of how my body felt, control of the thoughts that entered my mind, and control of the outcomes. I just did my very best everyday; and my best varied from day to day, depending on how anxious I was feeling. But that’s not what was important. What mattered was that I simply made the decision to go after each day with everything I had in me. And now? I’m one semester away from graduating. I currently have a 4.0 for the first time in my life. I finally see the light at the end of the tunnel, and I know I will soon achieve my goal.

In no way am I trying to brag. I just want you to know that this can be you too. I never in a million years thought I could be a teacher or start a blog, because of certain things I thought I lacked, and because of who I thought was. But ever since I changed my thoughts and made the decision to renew my mind daily, my life has been so much better. I just want you to know that if I can do it, then you certainly can too!

Whatever it is that stirs up your heart, whatever you are passionate about, you can do it. It doesn’t matter if you don’t have all the answers yet, or don’t know how you will get there. Just take it one day at a time. Give your personal best each day, and always remember, you can’t achieve it all in one day. You will get where you want with this mindset, along with a little bit of patience, effort and commitment. You just have to make that decision. Don’t stay stuck. Put your dreams into action. I know you can’t see all of your steps right now, but trust me, once you take the first one, the second one will appear. Once you take the second step, somehow, the third one will appear. It’s truly amazing to see just how God will show up for you in your life, as long as you take trust Him and take the leap, however small of a leap it may be.

You don’t want to get to the end of your life and wish you had done certain things when you had the chance. You can either live through the pain of hard work on the way to achieving your goals, or you can live with the pain of regret from what you didn’t do. Please, don’t choose the latter! Take the jump. You’ll be so glad you did.

Below is one of my all-time favorite videos about taking risks, stepping out of your comfort zone, overcoming all your fears, and going after your dreams in life. This guy’s message is so amazing and it is what inspired this blog post. I should warn you though- this video might have you in tears by the end! Anyway, I thought I would share for those of you who have yet to see it! Enjoy 🙂

 

As always, feel free to leave a comment or message me if you have something to share or need to talk! ❤

 

Letting Go of Control

“One day Alice came to a fork in the road and saw a Cheshire cat in a tree. “Which road do I take?” she asked. “Where do you want to go?” was his response. “I don’t know,” Alice answered. “Then,” said the Cheshire cat, “it doesn’t matter. If you don’t know where you are going, any road will get you there.”

Alice in Wonderland, Lewis Carroll

Do you ever feel like Alice, lost and alone in a strange world, with no map to follow, and too many choices ahead of you? You may feel that even if you had a map, it wouldn’t help you much because you don’t quite know where you want to end up. All you know is that you want to get far away from where you currently are. You might ask yourself, what happens if I choose a path, but it turns out to be the wrong one? What if I can’t go back and start over? How do I choose the best path? How long will it take? How hard will it be? Will this decision lead to happiness? With so many choices in life, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed and then stay stuck where you are for fear of making the wrong choice.

I’ve felt this way, stuck, confused and doubting myself, much more than I would like to admit. So believe me when I say that for the first time pretty much ever in my life, I am extremely excited that I finally have goals I wholeheartedly believe I will achieve. There’s just one little problem: I have absolutely NO idea what all it is going to take to get me there.

Now you might be thinking, if you don’t know how you are going to get there, then what could possibly make you believe your goals are actually going to manifest? Well, that’s exactly what my initial thought was. In fact, that’s what my initial thought has been throughout my entire life, which is why I haven’t accomplished many of the things I want to.

One of my biggest problems is that I’ve always wished for things.

Every time I wished something would happen in my life, I would think to myself, “Just maybe, one day, by some crazy miracle, if I do enough good things for God, then just maybe he might let (insert dream) happen to me…” After wishing, I would immediately start trying to come up with a master plan of how to accomplish that dream. I would think about who I was and where I was currently at in my life, and then tried to envision who I wanted to be and where I wanted to be, and the gap seemed insurmountable. My mind would race far into the future, and since I didn’t instantly have answers on how to get there, I would quickly become depleted and think, “Yeah, that’s never going to happen. So much for wishful thinking…” I thought that because I couldn’t visualize the entire way, there must not be one.

And guess what happened? Nothing!

My dreams never came true because I gave up on them just as soon as they would come into my mind. I’d allow myself 30 seconds to try and come up with a life-plan, and would then wonder why everything always seemed impossible. I know this sounds ridiculous, but I continued doing time and time again.

Thankfully, over the past year or so, I’ve finally come to accept something that has been absolutely life changing for me: I will never have all the answers right away, but I shouldn’t let that stop me from going forward and making them happen.

So, as I mentioned previously, I finally have dreams that I know I will achieve, but I don’t know exactly how I’m going to get there just yet. One of my goals is to become an elementary teacher. While yes, I know the big things I need to do in order to accomplish this, such as student teaching this fall, applying for graduation, and earning my degree, I have NO idea where I will teach, what grade I will teach, or what it will be like to have my own classroom. I know I want to become a published author someday, and I really want to get a following going on my blog, but I don’t know exactly how to do these things, or what I want to write about just yet. I know I want to move out of state once I graduate, but I’m not exactly sure where or when, if I will move alone or with someone, or if it will be temporary or lifelong.

Up until recently, I would’ve stopped right here. It would all be too much for my brain. Not already knowing each exact step I need to take to reach these goals would increase my anxiety to no end, and so I would shut the ideas down. Now, I’m learning to let go of control. I’ll be honest, I don’t know what the “best” decision is. I don’t know how exactly to get where I want to be. However, the beauty of this transitional point in my life is that it’s taught me that God will only let me know the steps when I need to know them, and no sooner. I can’t speed up His timing in my life. He doesn’t tell me because I’m just not ready yet, and that’s okay, because preparation is a process. So, He gives me glimpses of small details, one day at a time, at just the right time.

I can look back at other times in my life when I felt so lost and confused, and had no idea what the future held, and He wasn’t telling me a thing. I begged and pleaded for more guidance and answers, but they didn’t come when I wanted them. Upon reflection, I now realize it was better that God didn’t give me all the answers when I wanted them. It’s likely that I would’ve quit early, because I know I would have been so worried about all the things I’ve had to do that anxiety used to tell me I couldn’t do. But as I continued to push myself, I got stronger day by day, and as I received God’s daily grace, I was able to do these things my anxiety told me were “impossible”, when the time came for me to do them.

I won’t lie, right now it does feel like I have an overwhelming amount of choices. Which one is the RIGHT one? Which will lead me to the best life? What if I make the wrong decision? Am I wasting my time? What if moving isn’t the right thing for me? The questions are endless! I must admit, I do not know, but I’m starting to think that’s the whole point. I’m starting to see this period of transition as a beautiful and exciting place to be. I get to create my own future. I am the master of my own fate. And you are too! How cool is that? I know deep within my soul that if I keep believing, am proactive with my goals, and do something everyday that pushes me toward them, no matter how small or seemingly insignificant in the grand scheme of things, I will get to where I am supposed to be. God will show me exactly what I am supposed to do, day by day, in each moment, as I continue to trust in Him.

Since I have internalized this belief in my mind, it has been such a relief for me both mentally and physically. I no longer feel the urge to worry about what I will do in a year or two from now. I’m learning how to plan ahead, while simultaneously living in the moment, taking life one day at a time. The peace this new attitude toward life has brought me has been astounding and life-changing.

I’ve learned the hard way that the only “wrong” or “bad” choice is making none at all! Staying stuck in what is safe and familiar, instead of venturing out to the unknown because you are afraid of what could go wrong, will never give you the life you want. While this was a difficult thing to learn, I am so glad that I did. Now I know that no matter which path I choose to follow, or which decisions I make, that I will end up where I’m supposed to. There is no way I could ever predict the outcomes of each path I could possibly take in my life anyway, so why bother worrying about them? I must keep moving, and release control to the one who it belongs to in the first place. Now, I am perfectly content to let Him take the driver’s seat, while I sit back and enjoy the journey on the way to where I am headed.

I can’t wait to see where life takes me. What used to cause fear, now provides me with a sense of peace and hope. I don’t know the ending, but that gives me something to look forward to. Whereas my life used to feel like a dead end, now, the possibilities are endless. Just know that the same goes for you. If you have a story you’d like to share about your journey, feel free to leave a comment. If you are feeling overwhelmed with decisions, anxiety, or life in general, feel free to message me anytime. I’d love to hear from you! Below is a quote I found that I really resonate with, so I thought I would share. 🙂

I needed to read this.:

On a final note, making life-altering decisions can be terrifying, or it can be absolutely amazing. It’s all up to you to decide. Which one will you choose?